your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
