Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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