I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
