i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
