just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Randomize
