Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
