Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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