its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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