did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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