everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
ugly people sure do ruin things
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
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