i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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