Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
