his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
