Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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