You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
