so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
