we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
