yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
