We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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