it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Randomize
