you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
