honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
