Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
