just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
