how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
