my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
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