I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
