Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
