spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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