don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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