Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
