Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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