The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
