so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
