it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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