Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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