hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
