Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
