I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
