garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Randomize
