There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
