apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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