don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
tell me about the eggs
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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