It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
