hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
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I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
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Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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