I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
