I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize