so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
