playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
