I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
