Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
