I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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