Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The air was thick with penises
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
