So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
