We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
