dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
