Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
