yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
