I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
