I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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