At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
